There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i would punch a child for taco bell
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
