thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
