guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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