I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
