She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
