lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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