I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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