FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
