? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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