she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
