I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Randomize
