Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
