did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize
