I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
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