can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
