he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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