I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
