why do cheetos always look like penises
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
