What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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