Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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