you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You can't just leave with hair like that
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Your penis caused this!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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