i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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