while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
