There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
