My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
