In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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