Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
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Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
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He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
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