ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
