walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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