I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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