There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
