Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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