My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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