Fuck appropriateness.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
