It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
