Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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