I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
