dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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