The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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