Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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