You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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