Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.

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(573): View more from Missouri

just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch

(636): View more from Missouri

Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?

(573): View more from Missouri

IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(415): View more from California

had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon

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(859): View more from Kentucky

well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.

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