Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
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Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
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Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.