My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Can I color on your dick again?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.