Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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