jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
