That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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