still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I supernannyed him into submission
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
