Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
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