i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
barbara walters just said penis...
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
