I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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