Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
