I murdered the dance floor call the cops
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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