I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
