For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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