We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
