too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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