I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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