Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Is it penis luge time yet?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
