I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
