When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
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Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
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I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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