I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
