It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
