Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
