I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
