in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We were destined to go to rehab together
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
