and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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