nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
