we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
