Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Randomize
