I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We left an ass print on the piano.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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