singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
