so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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